There is no way my parents could have known what a world of pain they were dropping me in by simply giving me the name Mario. It was 1984, and Mario was my dad's name. THEY COULD NOT HAVE KNOWN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. But now all the Super Mario/Where's Luigi/ItsAMe/Wario jokes I've ever been the butt of are worth it because this lamp is so damn cool. That's right people. With the pull of a lamp chain, I am free.
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